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mirysien in collegeofveils

Christmas Eve birthing

It's been very quiet here in Peoria. Everyone seems to have laid low studying for exams and heading off for the winter break. I haven't seen hide nor tail of the priest, Asuka, or Fiona. The first snows have a tendency to quieten the world, making things seem new-born, fresh, and innocent.

Speaking of new-born, I had the privilege of being present at a birthing on Christmas Eve. There's something so magical about witnessing the beginning of life. No matter what is going on in the world at large or my own little corner of it, it all takes a back seat to those few precious moments when breath is first inhaled and the cry of life is uttered.

Having experienced the grief of the life-leaving of several who held importance in my life, this life-coming filled my heart till I thought it would burst and in the midst of that joy, so was the sorrow for those no longer. Yet, somehow that was right in its own way too. Never to forget and to appreciate more fully the beginnings of this new one because of the loss felt for the others. I felt their spirits ringing us at the birthing. Tears of joy .. sorrow.. hope .. marking the cycle of life.

Two emotions surprised me in their appearance due to this witnessing .. humility and trust.

Humility because I know myself better for having participated in the birthing and not simply know myself better, but also accept myself more -- as no more than I am *and* no less than I am.

Trust in that the guidance of this new life is in the right hands - no need to attempt to control, patrol, or urge my views or needs upon it - but, rather, that those in whose hands it is are the right ones. That their inevitable errors will be recoverable, forgivable ones that provide teaching moments instead of shattering or lessening of the tender soul placed into their care. The ease with which this has occurred for me - this lack of needing to hover over them, making sure it's done right - is a welcomed surprise.


Ayumi

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January 2008

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